Thursday, November 29, 2012

Healing Scriptural Confessions

These are confessions I make about Lucas and Lincoln.  They are based on scripture.  They retrain your mind and make you aware of the promises of God.
Healing Confessions


·         My mouth speaks God's word, which is in my heart in abundance.

·         I let no corrupt communication (anything contrary to God's Word) come out of my mouth. (Eph 4:29)

·         I hold fast to my confession of faith by saying only what the Word says. I do not waver, for He that promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10:23)

·         I speak God's Word; it does not return to Him void or unaccomplished, and it prospers in the thing where God has sent it. (Isaiah 55:11)

·         I will not receive anything contrary to God's Word. I refuse to speak words contrary to His Word because I am submitted to God and not circumstances or opinions of men. Let God be true and every man proven to be a liar! (Galatians 1:10) (Romans 3:4)

·         The Word of the Lord stands; what He has spoken, He brings to pass; what He has purposed, He does. This gives Him pleasure. (Isaiah 46:11)

·         I call those things which are not, as though they were, according to the Word of God. (Romans 4:17)

·         Because I abide in Him and His Word abides in me, I can ask what I WILL and it shall be done unto me. (John 15:7)

·         I thank You, Lord, for You will hasten Your Word to perform it! (Jeramiah 1:12)


·         The law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set Lucas and Lincoln free from the effects of the law of sin and death. They function according to a higher law. The expectations of men are not what we set our hope toward. We expect in God and believe we receive by faith. Our sons are whole, healed, delivered, and normal. (Romans 8:2)

·         Lucas and Lincoln are free from all forms of trouble in his ability to comprehend, understand and communicate. They are as the Hebrew children were. They excel above all! There is no exception to this for our children, in Jesus’ name. We believe the report of the Lord!



·         Lord, you lead Lucas and Lincoln into the understanding of ALL THINGS!

·         Lucas and Lincoln are filled with the knowledge of God's will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding. Their ability to function comes from the power of God, not the ability the flesh provides.

·         Lord, you have given Lucas and Lincoln the words of the learned and they know the right word to speak at the right time.

·         The power and wisdom of God are Lucas’ and Lincoln’s, because they belong to Jesus.

·         Jesus has come to give Lucas and Lincoln life and that life in abundance. We will accept nothing but that which reflects a quality of life that is the quality of life that God enjoys. The zoe life of God is Lucas’ and Lincoln’s to enjoy.



·         We hold fast our confession of faith without wavering, for our God is faithful who promised and our sons are healed with complete wholeness and soundness. It is guaranteed in Jesus’ name.

·         The Lord is good—a stronghold in the day of trouble. He knows that I trust in Him. He has made an utter end to this, and this affliction will not abide on Lucas and Lincoln

·         God calls Heaven and Earth to witness this day that He has set before us life and death, blessing and cursing. We choose life that both we and our seed will live in the abundance of our God and serve the Lord, obey His voice and cling to Him.

·         Lucas and Lincoln must be able to communicate in order to commune with their Heavenly Father. No attack of the enemy will impede our sons’ destiny, in Jesus’ name.

·         Jesus was wounded for Lucas and Lincoln, and with His stripes Lucas and Lincoln is whole, healed, and delivered.

·         The Lord has spoken and it is done; He has commanded and it stands fast.

·         No harm comes near Lucas or Lincoln, no evil befalls them and no plague or calamity comes near their dwelling. He gives His angel charge over Lucas and Lincoln to keep them.

·         No weapon formed against Lucas and Lincoln will prosper and every tongue that rises up against them in judgment shall be condemned. No weapon means NO WEAPON. Whatever the enemy tries to bring against our sons is brought to nothing.

·         Sickness and disease (not being at ease in any realm of life) are under the curse of the law. Lucas and Lincoln are redeemed from the curse of the law. Jesus was made a curse for them. We receive the blessing of Abraham through faith in Jesus’ name, for our sons.

·         No manner of hurt is found in Lucas and Lincoln, because we believe in our God!

·         When we walk through the fire, we will not be burned.




PERFECT: in every way—spirit, soul, body. You give only good and perfect gifts. You have given us Lincoln and Lucas, so we know he is created in perfection in every realm.

WISE: Lucas and Lincoln are wise, for they will hear their parents instruction and will obey. They will seek You from an early age and do what is right.

TALENTED: Father, You have given Lucas and Lincoln talents and You bless everything they set their hands to. You bless them in learning, communication, comprehension, and social situations. They are socially blessed and abundant.

STRONG: You are the strength of his life.

HEALTH: Lucas and Lincoln are fearfully and wonderfully made, free from sickness, disease, infection, illness in any realm, weakness, pain, infirmity, and any attack of the enemy.

CONFIDENT: You perfect all things that pertain to Lucas and Lincoln. They will have confidence in every realm—socially, scholastically, athletically, and physically.

·         God pours out His Spirit upon Lucas and Lincoln and their blessing abounds toward them.

·         God contends with those who contend with me. He saves, heals, prospers, and delivers my children.

·         Lucas and Lincoln are our seed and, therefore, our God will establish them.

·         Lucas and Lincoln are taught of You, Lord. They are obedient to Your Word and great is their peace. I praise you, Lord, that your angels have charge over Lucas and Lincoln and keep them in all your ways. In their pathway is life and there is no death, not in any realm. They abound in health, prosperity, abundance, and safety, and there is no death, sickness, poverty, lack or danger. They are the head and not the tail, above only and not beneath!

·         We are blessed of the Lord. You increase Lucas and Lincoln more and more!

·         Lord we have obeyed You and You have promised to bless the fruit of our bodies. Lucas and Lincoln are the fruit of our bodies and, therefore, they are blessed.

·         Greater is He that is in us, than he that is in the world!

·         The Father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice and he that births a wise child shall have joy by them and exalt with glee. What a pleasure a wise child is!

·         The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in Lucas and Lincoln, and God shall quicken, give life to, and animate their mortal bodies by the Spirit that dwells in them.

·         Lord, we thank You for giving us supernatural wisdom as to how to help Lucas and Lincoln and stay in the realm of faith in order that we might appropriate the promises of God for our sons. We believe that we receive in Jesus’ name


Healing School Gloria Copeland

Healed from Autism

The story of Desmond Oomen
Mail Annet en Adrie Oomen direct at

 "Adrie and I were married in 1987 and we were grateful when I became pregnant in February 1988. We thought nothing could take our joy away. When I was 5 months pregnant I developed appendicitis and had to have surgery.

After that the problems only grew. I had a pyelites, a cystitis and I started going into labour. This was bad news for the hospital staff and they put me on medication. I stayed in the hospital for a few weeks, taking medication until the day of birth.

But thank God, after nine months we had a beautiful son. We named him Desmond.

Desmond’s birth

I can still remember the gynaecologist saying: “I’m amazed that this child is born normal....”. This sounded rather strange because this man had reassured me during my pregnancy that there was nothing wrong; even though I took medication. After Desmond’s birth he admitted that it was a miracle that everything had gone well. He had actually been afraid that I would lose the baby.

The first year was one of total exhaustion, Desmond was always crying. Because this was my first child and I was inexperienced, I thought things would get better after a while. But it didn’t.

When he was about 3 or 4 years old, the problems started. He started to ignore us and didn’t respond as a normal child would. Everyone gave us the reassurance that things would get better after he would go to school. That moment arrived when he was 4 years old. It was a disaster!

The first signs

His behaviour became terribly abnormal; at home we lost all contact with Desmond. He was screaming all day and was constantly having outbursts of rage. He hated school, and most of the times I had a (real) fight with my 4 year old just to get him on his bicycle to go to school. I was living in a nightmare. He didn’t have contact with the other children at school, and didn’t understand anything about the world around about him. He was a total stranger living in his own world.

At the time he was sleeping only 5 hours a night en was over-energetic during the daytime. We were now always treated as outsiders, not involved in Desmond’s world in anything. He retreated even further into his own world. He refused to eat regularly; this resulted in a few physical breakdowns.

He didn’t make any friends; this did not bother him at all. When he was 4 he hadn’t played outside for 18 months. We sought help and went to a specialist. After he tested him he sent us to different experts. The results were shocking.

Bad news

They said: “We are sorry, but your son has a severe form of autism, combined with a severe form of behavioural disturbance”- a severe disturbance, which is known as a form of autism where he could not develop any form of social contact. They said: “We don’t know where it comes from or how anyone gets it, but we are sure of one thing, it can’t be healed; maybe, when he is an adult, he can live with more autistic people, but only under special care in a home for the handicapped.”

We lost all hope for his future. All the doctors agreed on this same conclusion: no healing was possible.

His I.Q. was tested at 126 but he could not put it to use. He was obsessed by insects and sharks, and knew everything about them, but if we asked him what you can buy at a bakery, he couldn’t tell us. He was a total stranger in the world and had created his own world in which nobody could enter.

He didn’t answer us when we asked him a question, and was very unpredictable. For example: he would suddenly start running around the table, screaming so loud that it would hurt our ears.

Only when we forced him to stop, would he stop. When we punished him he would show no emotion at all. It seemed that there was nothing that could enter his world. He never made eye contact, except when we forced him; but even then, his eyes showed no emotion, empty.

Things were getting worse

When he was 5 years old he was enrolled at a special school for autistic children. This school had a long waiting list but because of his bad condition, he was immediately placed.

His behaviour worsened; he was now living totally in his own world. Sometimes he attacked us in a rage and I had to physically strike him down. He would hurt himself, hit himself, bang his head to the ground and do the same movements over and over again. He had his own world, nobody could enter. The reason why I say this more than once is because as a parent, it is frustrating when you are not allowed into the life of your child. You experience a constant rejection. I thought that I was a bad parent, a total failure.

He kept repeating the same lines over and over again: “I am Desmond, I am Desmond”, sometimes he would continue for hours.

When Desmond was 4 years old, our second child was born, a girl. We named her Yara. He loved her, but was not able to express his emotions. Sometimes he gave her a kiss or a caress, but always without any emotion. His pain limit was so abnormally high, that he never cried or flinched when he was in pain; at one instance all his fingers were caught between the door of our car as it closed. Without any emotion he said: “My fingers are caught between the door”, this was after we had driven for a few minutes.

When he was 6 years old he couldn’t catch a ball or keep his balance. He couldn’t ride a bicycle till he was about 8 or 9 years old. We tried putting on the extra side wheels, but even then he couldn’t keep his balance and would fall off.

His muscular movements were erratic. His breathing was very irregular especially when he had to concentrate. When he slept, there were moments I was scared that he would stop breathing altogether; he would be so irregular. It was frightening.


As a family we were pushed in total isolation, because of Desmond’s bad behaviour. We were no longer welcome in the homes of family and friends because he would break the place down. He would often spoil our dinnertime. We couldn’t eat as a normal family because of his unpredictable behaviour. It was nearly impossible to get to know him; we couldn’t even tell what his favourite food was.

As a family we were emotionally broken down, we didn’t enjoy life and didn’t enjoy our son. I began hating him. His sister began imitating him and our relation worsened.

I lost my faith

O yes, I believed in God, and went to church. I had been going to church for 10 years. The people there were very kind, but they could do nothing concrete to help me in my predicament.

I prayed for my children, but it seemed as if God didn’t hear me. My husband didn’t believe in God nor did my family. They all felt very sorry for me. When I would go to church every week, they thought that I believed God would do a miracle. It seemed a hopeless situation without a solution.

Here I was, no answers in de midst of my problems, I had lost hope and my faith. I stopped going to church. Our third child was born, a son; and we named him Jafeth, but our joy was gone. We were living, totally ruled by our circumstances. Everything that I tried failed, it seemed nothing could help us and our situation was only getting worse.

A new beginning!!

In 1996 a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to accompany her to a new church which had just started in our town. I had serious doubts, and did not think too much of it. They didn’t have a church building, and were only having their little services in a living room. There were only a few people, but I didn’t want to disappoint my friend, so I went anyway.

In preparation, I smoked a few cigarettes, and told my husband that I was going to another church. He said: “sure honey, if you think it will help you, have a nice evening”. I went to a church called Jubilee.

The first meeting

The first time that I entered that living room, it totally changed my life. I met pastor Hans and Herma Oudhoff, and they were talking about miracles like it was the most normal thing in the world. Of course I had seen Benny Hinn on TV. It was so exciting to watch the miracles. I saw God really working – in Benny Hinn’s meetings ....

I never realized this was also for me. Suddenly it came very close as never before – healing ?here? – for real – me?

The pastors told me, they believed that Desmond could get healed. When they told me this I became very angry and confused. They had no idea what I had been through. They didn’t know the struggle I had come through just to survive, and they wiped away all my hard work surviving my circumstances, with just one sentence.

Was I a Christian?

I was in shock and confused, but I had come to the point that I wanted to face the truth. It dawned on me that my view of God was wrong. This was one of the most difficult things for me to do. Because I was the only one in my family who had always gone to church, I thought that I was the Christian. I thought that I was the one who knew God.

I quickly found out that I didn’t know God at all. What had I been doing in church all those years? I came to the point that I made a very definite decision. During the next year I would do everything that God would tell me to do through the pastors or through His word; and I would do it, no matter what. I would resign myself to God in all areas. I began to obey His word and I did what my pastors advised me.

The big change

I stopped smoking, and doing all the other things which I thought would give me rest. I stopped watching television for hours; talking on the phone for hours; eating too much; and I stopped thinking about myself as the victim and thus feeling very sorry for myself. I started bringing my tithes, so God could open the windows of heaven. At that time I was so desperate, that I would have been very grateful at only a little relief of pressure in my life.

What I didn’t know in that time was that I had made a golden decision in following God. During the next 2 years, I found out that this God was a God who heals, makes whole again and loves you. He is a God who does what He has promised to do in His word. God’s level of giving is far above anything I could have ever have imagined at the time. It wasn’t always easy; some people around me were not standing in the same measure of faith as I was, but eventually it became worth all the time and energy.

The change continues

I had nothing to loose because I had lost everything. That’s why it was always a win-win situation. Now God was on my side!

I started to follow bible studies and my life began to change for the better. I bought an English bible, the amplified (my favourite), the Spirit filled New King James and they became my new best friends.

I stopped smoking and blaming my husband of everything. I started to speak faith. I found out that Satan had done a good job in destroying the relation between me and my husband, me and my children and everyone else I loved. Satan hates relationships based on the word of God.

Gloria Copeland the Healing School

The biggest change came when my pastors told me that they had cassettes by Gloria Copeland. On these 6 cassettes Gloria Copeland gave healing school. I listened tape after tape, day in day out, faith came by hearing the word of God.

My pastors started teaching this healing school every week. I loved it; it had all the answers that I was so desperately looking for.

We translated it into Dutch and I found back something which I thought was lost. Hope started growing for my son, and I started to speak faith. Faith grew.

What else did I change?

One of the first things I learned through healing school was that I was able to change my situation by changing the way that I spoke. I found out that there was great power in the words I spoke. It would give me life or it would give me death.

I choose life, I started to speak life. I refused to rehearse what the doctor’s reports had said and instead began to speak the word of God about Desmond’s life.

This was strange to me, because I spoke things that I didn’t yet see at that time.

I decided to change my circle of acquaintances; I had a need to find people who would support me in my faith for the healing of Desmond.

My whole family was convinced that I was caught up in some religious mania, especially when I told them that I did not want to hear anything or discuss anything about Desmond and the subject of autism. I told them that I believed that he would become a healthy, normal child. My family was now certain I needed professional help and they seriously began to worry about me, because of my religious choices.

They didn’t understand what I was doing, but they soon would.

New certainty

I started realizing that I had a covenant with this mighty God. This was something I wasn’t aware of until then. I learned that God can and will heal every sickness.

I thank God for my pastors. They encouraged me to go on when I needed it. They gave me hope and spoke faith when I needed it. Biblical hope never disappoints you especially when you put faith into the equation.

My family also saw a change come over me after I had gone to church for a while.

They started to realize that I also had the answer for their need. They were all sick.

My husband also saw the change, and he stopped saying that he didn’t need God.

My son started to change. I stopped to do the ‘please God, if you are willing’ prayer ritual. NO! I prayed and thanked God for the covenant we have with Him, and thanked Him for the healing of Desmond. If you have a covenant with God, there is no way that you can loose, unless you don’t know or if you are not aware what God has for you in His covenant.

Who is the enemy

I found out that this so called autism is one of the meanest things that the devil has. It does not only bring the child, but also the whole family in total isolation. This is what Satan wants, total separation from God. Healing school became part of my life. Desmond went to a special school for 5 years.


At the end of 1998 Desmond came from school and said: ”Mom, there are some very strange children at my school. Why do they act so strange?’’

Suddenly I realized that the miracle harvest had arrived. After 2 years of speaking faith, grasping His word with both hands, holding on to His healing promises, I had reached harvest time.

The quality decision to do and believe every word of God had been rewarded.

Hebrews 11:6 became real to me: But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must (necessarily) believe that God exist and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him (out). – Amplified bible.

This had become real to me.

I believed in God, but I had not spoken faith like this before. Yes, I knew He could do miracles, but I didn’t know how to get a miracle in my life. I spoke the word, but I didn’t believe it. I used to mix my faith confessions with the rehearsal of the doctors reports. I believed the doctors just as much as I believed God. That had to change.

You are what you say

I started to understand Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things (we) hope for, being the proof of things (we) do not see and the conviction of their reality (faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses). – Amplified bible.

I had hope, yes I had enough hope, but it became a reality when I started to speak faith. I was capable to move this mountain of which Jesus speaks in Mark 11: 23, 24.

I had a big mountain, of which I thought could not be moved. I refused to doubt any longer and believed in the healing of Desmond. The mountain moved. I was sure Desmond was healed and asked the school to test him again. The first test was above their expectation and they decided to do a second test. It was even better than the first.

Now, back to normal

We decided to take a big step in faith. We had him taken out of his special school. This step had great consequences - this school had long waiting list and if Desmond was out of this school there was no way he could return. So they gave us a paper to sign that confirmed that we were the ones who took the decision and that they didn’t agree with us on medical grounds.

Desmond went to a regular elementary school. From the first day that he went, everything went better than we could have imagined.

He achieved high grades, formed normal social contacts and he became very good in all sports.

His teacher told us that she could only praise Desmond for the way he was. In all ways he was behaving and achieving above any expectation.

In the last grade of elementary school he was tested and went to gymnasium. We praise and thank Jesus every day, and will not stop telling of God’s goodness to other people. He has done so much for us.

Desmond is now a healthy, cheerful boy, our relation is completely restored. The relation with my daughter is also completely restored.

God has made our family whole, God is very good."
(full story)

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

"What were you thinking?"

Watch this video through 1 min and 07 sec.
This is a video from Oprah's speech recently at Her South African Academy.  This is the first graduating class.  In her speech she says,
"So, there were many days during these past 5 years I've asked myself, 'what were you thinking, WHAT were you thinking, you could build a school 8000 miles away and take girls from townships and rural areas and put them all under one roof, with the expectation that you would not only exceed..but excel, What were you thinking.' I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS DAY."
There have been times when I know Lincoln is making huge progress, but something happens that could be discouraging to me (if I let it). Recently a 3 year old simply asked, "where did my mommy go?"  It seems pretty simple but it reminded me that that was something Lincoln doesn't do, ask questions like that. In moments like that, I HAVE to go to images I have stored in my head.  I picture Lincoln walking across the stage at graduation with a typical group of peers, or I picture him going to prom or getting married. Mostly, I picture myself sitting In Dr. Chuck Edgington's office as he tells me, "your son no longer qualifies for an Autism Diagnosis."  I fill my head with those things so that I don't accept discouragement. I look forward to the day when this is what I will get to say;
" What were you thinking. what were you thinking..thinking your little boy would be healed of Autism.  That the Word of God does not return void, that despite some other people's opinions and acceptance that our kids are meant to stay this way, I chose to believe God and what His Word says.  That no matter how many tantrums he threw or setbacks we had or diagnoses we received, that we could conquer this! What were you thinking, thinking that your little boy would not only lose his Autism Diagnosis but excel more than one might think and never even remember the struggle.  What were you thinking, I WAS THINKING OF THIS DAY!"
I identify so much with what Oprah says here.  I understand her line of thinking. I think it is important to think about what we are thinking about.  No matter what happens, I shift my focus.  I refuse to be bogged down with discouragement.  I hope this encourages someone else.
"All thing are possible to He who believes"
Philippians 3:13
"One thing I do, forgetting what lies behind, straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the upward call of God in Christ Jesus, my Lord."

Friday, October 5, 2012

Leaving Holland

I posted the poem below (see bottom) last year shortly after Lincoln was diagnosed with Autism.  The poem was interesting to me, it didn't offer me hope, it was just well...interesting.

I have come a long way since February of last year.  It has been a LONG 18 months.  I have gotten to the point where I am no longer researching Autism, I put in too much time with that when I should have been studying the bible more and believing in God's Word and studying healing and faith.  I always thought I believed, but I think I had a lot of doubt.

One week before we found out Lincoln had Autism, I had just spent three weeks in a spiritual battle.  The bible says in Ephesians 6:12 "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."  I had been told Maddi was probably miscarrying.  At first, I started to possibly accept it and then towards the end, I found scriptures about healing and life and I quoted and believed them until they became so real that I finally saw my little girl on that ultrasound and heard her sweet heartbeat, the sweetest sound I think I have ever heard.  You would think after just seeing God's Word harvest in my life that I would be able to believe better than believing in Autism.....but I just haven't been able to.....Until now. 

I am done with Autism.  The bible says that we are spirit beings that possess a soul (mind will emotions) and live in  a physical body.  It says in Isaiah 53:5, "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."  We are spiritual beings according to the Word of God, Lincoln was already healed.  I no longer see Lincoln as Autistic or having Autism, I see him as healed by what Jesus conquered on the cross and the stripes He bore. Autism just happens to be trying to come against him. Lincoln is whole and healthy.  Proverbs 18:21 says, "Death and Life are in the power of the tongue." I am ashamed of what I have spoken over my little boy. No more! I have a new confession for Lincoln and I know we will see healing manifest itself in the natural.  Faith is a wonderful thing.  James 1:2-4, "2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I believe we are there.

I have studied vaccines and chemicals and so many things.  I have read and read and read about Autism.  I have tried Speech Therapy, ABA, diets,  attempting biomed among many things.  While all of those things are wonderful in what they do for Autism,  NOTHING compares to the goodness of God.  My hope is in GOD , not what some therapy can do for Lincoln. Isn't that better anyway??
1 Corinthians 2:5, "so that your faith would not be based on human wisdom but on God's power."

For far too long, I have heard all of the things," God gives special kids to special people",  "This is your cross to bear or your thorn in the flesh." I have questioned and let these things roll around in my head far too long.  I understand people believe different, but I encourage you to get in the Word of God and see what God says about healing.  God does not put sickness on anyone or disease on anyone.  It goes against his very essence and nature.  We have a job to get back what the enemy has come in and stolen and reclaim that which is ours. The Lord restores seven fold.  I make no apologies for what God's Word says.  I BELIEVE it and I RECEIVE it.  :)

So, as the poem says, "there has been a change in the flight plan."  We are leaving Holland because that is where we have been for the past 18 months.  We aren't even going to Italy, we are headed somewhere better.  Somewhere better than what this world has to offer...spiritually speaking.  We are resting in God's goodness and healing assurance and in the land of Faith of Hope. I am putting on the full armor of God and this time it will stay on.....

Ephesians 6:10-18

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you
can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Welcome to Holland
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability
- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand
it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

 When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip
- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans.
The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn
some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags
and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes
in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?"
you say. "What do
you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed
to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and
there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you
to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and
disease. It's just a different place.

Soyou must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new
language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never
have met.

It'sjust a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than
Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath,
you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and
Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all
bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of
your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's
what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss
of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy,
you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things
... about Holland.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

New photos

I Want More

It is 3 am and I am up reading about stem cell treatment for Autism, reading about biomedical approach and everything else under the sun. I thought, "this is what crazy people do." I even woke up Daniel to talk to him about it. Then I thought, "no, this isn't what crazy people do. It's what moms who want their baby healed from Autism do."

1 year ago, we found out our baby had Autism!! A whole year has went by, granted he is only 2 1/2.... But a whole year. I won't sell Lincoln short for he has made great improvements, but I want more than this. More than just behavior therapy to help control his behavior. I want people that believe Autism can be healed and aren't accepting as this just being a way of life. I WANT MORE! Lincoln deserves more. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful For everyone that has been apart of Lincoln's care this past year; 17 hours a week of ABA and almost 3 hours of speech a week. I will never accept Autism, I think once I did, it would be (has been) easy to just blend in and think this is ok. But, it's not.

I have tried to maintain everything for the past year like a "normal" mom (what does that even mean?). One who doesn't freak people out talking about Autism too much, don't wanna be "that mom." One who doesn't freak out in social groups when we are talking about what's happening on a TV show or the latest drama....because inside I have thought," shut up..... None of this matters, I have a little boy that needs healed, that needs help, why does this even matter!" I spend most of my time in those conversations feeling like I am in the twilight zone, like I'm on the outside looking in. Am I saying all of the "normal" people are doing anything wrong? Absolutely not, they just truly don't know or understand and frankly their hard times (in some cases) haven't even held a candle to this.

This is the life stuff that no one tells you about, no one prepares you for, they couldn't possibly. This is the meat to life, the hard, can't hardly tear off the bone, kind of meat. The kind that in your darkest hour you hope your faith stands up to and if it doesn't, you better find it fast.

"For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome."(Jeremiah 29:11 AMP)

I feel like I'm closing a chapter in my life and a new one is opening. I'm done ( for now) doing all the "normal" mom stuff, done pretending it's all okay, because truly it's not, But it will be. This new chapter is new focus for me, and getting my little boy healed, branching out and finding more....seeking more. Done settling into thinking this is our only option. I've got too much riding on this, my little boy has too much riding on this. I WANT MORE... It's that simple.

"So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened." (Luke 11:9, 10 NKJV)

"Therefore, [inheriting] the promise is the outcome of and depends [entirely] on faith, in order that it might be given as an act of grace (unmerited favor), to make it stable and valid and guaranteed to all his descendants--not only to the devotees and adherents of the Law, but also to those who share the faith of Abraham, who is [thus] the father of us all. As it is written, I have made you the father of many nations. [He was appointed our father] in the sight of God in Whom he believed, Who gives life to the dead and speaks of the nonexistent things that [He has foretold and promised] as if they [already] existed. [For Abraham, human reason for] hope being gone, hoped in faith that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been promised, So [numberless] shall your descendants be. He did not weaken in faith when he considered the [utter] impotence of his own body, which was as good as dead because he was about a hundred years old, or [when he considered] the barrenness of Sarah’s [deadened] womb. No unbelief or distrust made him waver (doubtingly question) concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God, Fully satisfied and assured that God was able and mighty to keep His word and to do what He had promised. That is why his faith was credited to him as righteousness (right standing with God). But [the words], It was credited to him, were written not for his sake alone, But [they were written] for our sakes too. [Righteousness, standing acceptable to God] will be granted and credited to
us also who believe in (trust in, adhere to, and rely on) God, Who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead, Who was betrayed and put to death because of our misdeeds and was raised to secure our justification (our acquittal), [making our account balance and absolving us from all guilt before God]. (Romans 4:16-25 AMP)

Before I formed you in the womb I knew [and] approved of you [as My chosen instrument], and before you were born I separated and set you apart, consecrating you; [and] I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. Then said I, Ah, Lord God! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am only a youth. But the Lord said to me, Say not, I am only a youth; for you shall go to all to whom I shall send you, and whatever I command you, you shall
speak. Be not afraid of them [their faces], for I am with you to deliver you, says the Lord. Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me, Behold, I have put My words in your mouth. See, I have this day appointed you to the oversight nation nations and of the kingdoms to root out and pull down, to destroy and to overthrow,to build and to plant. Moreover, the word of the Lord came to me, saying, Jeremiah,what do you see? And I said, I see a branch or shoot of an almond tree [the emblem of alertness and activity, blossoming in late winter]. Then said the Lord to me, You have seen well, for I am alert and active, watching over My word to perform it. And the word of the Lord came to me the second time, saying,
What do you see? And I said, I see a boiling pot, and the face of it is [tipped
away] from the north [its mouth about to pour forth on the south, on Judea]. Then the Lord said to me, Out of the north the evil [which the prophets had foretold as the result of national sin] shall disclose itself and break forth upon all the inhabitants of the land. For, behold, I will call all the tribes of the kingdoms of the north, says the Lord; and they will come and set every one his throne at the entrance of the gates of Jerusalem, against all its walls round about, and agains all the cities of Judah [as God’s judicial act, a consequence of Judah’s wickedness]. And I will utter My judgments against them for all the wickedness of those who have forsaken Me, burned incense to other gods, and worshiped the works of their own hands [idols]. But you [Jeremiah], gird up your loins! Arise and tell them all that I command you. Do not be dismayed and break down at the sight of their faces, lest I confound you before them and I permit you to be overcome. For I, behold, I have made you this day a fortified city and an iron pillar and bronze walls against the whole land--against the [successive] kings of Judah, against its princes, against its priests, and against the people of the land [giving you divine strength which no hostile power can overcome]. And they shall fight against you, but they shall not [finally]
prevail against you, for I am with you, says the Lord, to deliver you. (Jeremiah 1:5-19 AMP)