"What were you thinking?"

 

Watch this video through 1 min and 07 sec.

This is a video from Oprah's speech recently at Her South African Academy.  This is the first graduating class.  In her speech she says,

 

"So, there were many days during these past 5 years I've asked myself, 'what were you thinking, WHAT were you thinking, you could build a school 8000 miles away and take girls from townships and rural areas and put them all under one roof, with the expectation that you would not only exceed..but excel, What were you thinking.' I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS DAY."

 

There have been times when I know Lincoln is making huge progress, but something happens that could be discouraging to me (if I let it). Recently a 3 year old simply asked, "where did my mommy go?"  It seems pretty simple but it reminded me that that was something Lincoln doesn't do, ask questions like that. In moments like that, I HAVE to go to images I have stored in my head.  I picture Lincoln walking across the stage at graduation with a typical group of peers, or I picture him going to prom or getting married. Mostly, I picture myself sitting In Dr. Chuck Edgington's office as he tells me, "your son no longer qualifies for an Autism Diagnosis."  I fill my head with those things so that I don't accept discouragement. I look forward to the day when this is what I will get to say;

 

" What were you thinking. what were you thinking..thinking your little boy would be healed of Autism.  That the Word of God does not return void, that despite some other people's opinions and acceptance that our kids are meant to stay this way, I chose to believe God and what His Word says.  That no matter how many tantrums he threw or setbacks we had or diagnoses we received, that we could conquer this! What were you thinking, thinking that your little boy would not only lose his Autism Diagnosis but excel more than one might think and never even remember the struggle.  What were you thinking, I WAS THINKING OF THIS DAY!"

 

I identify so much with what Oprah says here.  I understand her line of thinking. I think it is important to think about what we are thinking about.  No matter what happens, I shift my focus.  I refuse to be bogged down with discouragement.  I hope this encourages someone else.

 

"All thing are possible to He who believes"

 

Philippians 3:13

"One thing I do, forgetting what lies behind, straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the upward call of God in Christ Jesus, my Lord."

 

 

Leaving Holland

I posted the poem below (see bottom) last year shortly after Lincoln was diagnosed with Autism.  The poem was interesting to me, it didn't offer me hope, it was just well...interesting.

I have come a long way since February of last year.  It has been a LONG 18 months.  I have gotten to the point where I am no longer researching Autism, I put in too much time with that when I should have been studying the bible more and believing in God's Word and studying healing and faith.  I always thought I believed, but I think I had a lot of doubt.

One week before we found out Lincoln had Autism, I had just spent three weeks in a spiritual battle.  The bible says in Ephesians 6:12 "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."  I had been told Maddi was probably miscarrying.  At first, I started to possibly accept it and then towards the end, I found scriptures about healing and life and I quoted and believed them until they became so real that I finally saw my little girl on that ultrasound and heard her sweet heartbeat, the sweetest sound I think I have ever heard.  You would think after just seeing God's Word harvest in my life that I would be able to believe better than believing in Autism.....but I just haven't been able to.....Until now. 

I am done with Autism.  The bible says that we are spirit beings that possess a soul (mind will emotions) and live in  a physical body.  It says in Isaiah 53:5, "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."  We are spiritual beings according to the Word of God, Lincoln was already healed.  I no longer see Lincoln as Autistic or having Autism, I see him as healed by what Jesus conquered on the cross and the stripes He bore. Autism just happens to be trying to come against him. Lincoln is whole and healthy.  Proverbs 18:21 says, "Death and Life are in the power of the tongue." I am ashamed of what I have spoken over my little boy. No more! I have a new confession for Lincoln and I know we will see healing manifest itself in the natural.  Faith is a wonderful thing.  James 1:2-4, "² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I believe we are there.

I have studied vaccines and chemicals and so many things.  I have read and read and read about Autism.  I have tried Speech Therapy, ABA, diets,  attempting biomed among many things.  While all of those things are wonderful in what they do for Autism,  NOTHING compares to the goodness of God.  My hope is in GOD , not what some therapy can do for Lincoln. Isn't that better anyway??
1 Corinthians 2:5, "so that your faith would not be based on human wisdom but on God's power."

For far too long, I have heard all of the things," God gives special kids to special people",  "This is your cross to bear or your thorn in the flesh." I have questioned and let these things roll around in my head far too long.  I understand people believe different, but I encourage you to get in the Word of God and see what God says about healing.  God does not put sickness on anyone or disease on anyone.  It goes against his very essence and nature.  We have a job to get back what the enemy has come in and stolen and reclaim that which is ours. The Lord restores seven fold.  I make no apologies for what God's Word says.  I BELIEVE it and I RECEIVE it.  :)

So, as the poem says, "there has been a change in the flight plan."  We are leaving Holland because that is where we have been for the past 18 months.  We aren't even going to Italy, we are headed somewhere better.  Somewhere better than what this world has to offer...spiritually speaking.  We are resting in God's goodness and healing assurance and in the land of Faith of Hope. I am putting on the full armor of God and this time it will stay on.....

Ephesians 6:10-18

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you
can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
Welcome to Holland
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability
- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand
it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
 When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip
- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans.
The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn
some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags
and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes
in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?"
you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed
to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and
there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you
to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and
disease. It's just a different place.
Soyou must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new
language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never
have met.
It'sjust a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than
Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath,
you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and
Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all
bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of
your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's
what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss
of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy,
you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things
... about Holland.