Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Today I passed a sign while creeping along in traffic. I bet I've passed it 30+ times but have never noticed it before. Not today, today it stood out to me so much that I took a picture and I knew instantly what it was.
I've had an interesting few weeks with God recently particularly in regards to Lincoln and him being free from autism. He has been speaking some pretty cool things to my heart and I'm finally starting to pay attention again. It has been pretty incredible and encouraging to me in this season of life.
It's been a journey and a long one at that, in just a short time; Lincoln's life. Specifically believing that we'd not have to be visiting Holland for long and having that longing for Italy fulfilled. Not sure what I'm talking about? You probably wouldn't unless you have a child with a disability. This is a poem that I read 5 years ago after Lincoln reveived an autism diagnosis;
Welcome to Holland
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability
- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand
it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip
- to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans.
The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn
some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags
and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes
in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?"
you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed
to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and
there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you
to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and
disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new
language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than
Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath,
you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and
Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all
bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of
your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's
what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss
of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy,
you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things
... about Holland.
I blogged here ( CLICK HERE TO READ ) about how I truly felt about that poem. I felt like it was an acceptance of autism and staying there. Which is something I have never wanted. If you have followed my blog or we are friends on Facebook, then you know I'm very vocal about getting Lincoln free from autism. Mainly, whole-heartedly believing God is a good healing God like His Word says and that my little boy can be free. That we can figuratively enjoy Italy. And guys, he mostly IS free. 5 years ago from a classic autism diagnosis, non-verbal and the whole 9 yards, fast forward to today. Today he watched Airbud and cried his eyes out because the clown was mean to Buddy and he hated that. He even shut the TV off on everyone because his little heart and eyes and ears couldn't bear anymore. It was fantastic. Yes I said fantastic. I am happy my son cried and was heartbroken by a movie. Why? Because he chose empathy and understanding and it wasn't just a story for him to script. He didn't even script any of the movie. He actually watched and wasn't self-absorbed in his own world. And I cry on that exact same scene every time I watch that movie too and that makes my heart pretty happy. :)
This is how our Lincoln has been here recently; normal, healthy, happy, funny, loving and so many other things that I would describe him much like the way I would describe my other 2 typical children.
Not much Holland recently.
I had actually forgotten about Holland and Italy until today. Until I passed by that beautiful sign; "Next Stop: Italy." Maybe it's just pasta to you, but the way God drew my attention to that sign today was just Heavenly reassurance that everything is going to be alright. Lincoln is going to be just fine and we are well on our way. I'm not saying I haven't waivered, but I am thankful that I have held tight to the assurance of God's Word believing for Linky's healing over the past 4 years.
God speaks to us how He knows we will hear him and through our surroundings. Look for Him to speak to you. The Word says that "His sheep know his voice." Listen and trust Him. He is there guiding and encouraging you in whatever journey you are facing.