Monday, September 30, 2013

Fine Line: Passion or Judgement?

"Passion often gets mistaken as criticism of others"
Story. Of. My. Life.
I am quite passionate about certain things. I am quite vocal about certain things.  This is me.  However, when someone else who feels differently hears me say things I am passionate about, then they get offended. I am not saying certain things to offend anyone or criticize them.  It is just that I am super passionate about what I have found out and am excited to share.
What am I talking about?
Specifically, autism. I walk a fine line with autism.  At one time (you can read more in my previous entries) it consumed me. I was engulfed in autism research, therapies, diets...everything I could do in my own ability. I believe there is a fine line between doing what you have to do in your current situation while still believing all of the things the Word of God says about my son in regards to healing.  This is that fine line I work so diligently not to cross. You see, for me, delving into all of the therapies and diets put a belief in myself and my ability and how I could fix this.  I started consuming my mind with that stuff INSTEAD of what the Word of God says.
"You get what you put in." 
"Where the mind goes, the man follows." -Joyce Meyer
I would give my husband  20 minute (at least) dissertation on how gluten effects the body, how this vitamin could help him among the other 12 I had already mentioned and many other topics.  After he listened, he would nod and say, "Okay, how much of this research are you putting in your mind versus the Word of God and what it says about healing."  I would get mad and think he just didn't understand. He let me follow my every whim while I in a sense discovered myself and discovered the infallible Word of God and what it said about my Linky.  One day I started listening to Keith Moore and everything he had to say about Faith and what we confess over ourselves.  He talked of how we confess allergies over ourselves and sickness.  "You shall decree a thing." The light came on and it confirmed everything my husband had been trying to tell me. I had been putting my faith into "research" and natural things.  I asked myself one day;
"If it were just Linky, me and God in the desert with no therapy or anything naturally to 'fix him', did I think God could heal him?"

The answer in short, is, YES! But, at one time it wouldn't have been that. I had to get myself to the place where I emphatically believed no other thing.  Eventually, I pulled Lincoln off of all diets and out of therapies. It wasn't a loud voice out of the sky telling me to do these things and BOOM I did them.  It was more like circumstances that led to that.  God was "pruning" me somewhere during all of that. From Lincoln's age of 21 months until 34 months old, he had around 20 hours of therapy a week. I was consumed.  Did I love all of the therapists that worked with him and believe they played a huge part in our lives? Absolutely! Am I saying therapy is bad and everyone should take my course? No! Be spirit led and make those decisions accordingly.  Am I saying I would never use therapy or diets again. Nope, I just know where the healing comes from.  I believe I had to take Lincoln out of those things because my faith was in those things and not in God.  Guess what? He has made more progress with us "just" speaking the Word over him and believing God's promises for his life than the immense amount of therapy he was in before. I keep my mind stayed on Christ and it has proven itself!
Don't buy into the lies that people tell you that are not scriptural! (I plan on writing all of these out w/ scripture references in another blog).
Such as;
  • This was a part of God's plan for my child
  • God gives special children to special people
  • God doesn't give you more than you can handle.
  • It's all in His timing.
  • He has a plan (hello! How about free will and choosing His promises)
  • We will receive our fullness in heaven, not on earth
  • ALL Wisdom comes from God (seriously? As if people don't twist things up in our human nature.... SMH)
All I will say for now is, show me the scripture references for those. Make sure what you are believing is TRUTH!  Most of these are just things people have twisted to fit our lives.  Why? Because, it hurts less and it's easier to just accept.  It's hard to HOPE everyday even when you aren't seeing results in the natural.  It's easier just to wallow and find support from others in your situation. I speak from a place of my past, I've done it. I don't want what everyone else has, I want what God says is mine! Hence, the title of my Blog; "The Narrow Path." I find myself on a road less often traveled by others. 
 It's hard to everyday, look at you child and say,
"Lincoln, you are alert. You process information quickly.  You eat well.  You sleep well. Your body functions as God designed it.  Your mind is alert.  God sent His Word and healed you, you are free from destruction. (Psalm 107:20).  You are free from any infirmity.  You know the right word to speak at the right time. You are HEALED!"
It's hard, believe me, I know it's hard. It seems silly at first.  But, it's more than just speaking it, I believe it! It's backed up by the Word! I renew my mind daily and it changes me and what I believe my Lincoln.
"Passion often gets mistaken as criticism of others"
This is the part where others view my passion for my own situation as judgment of theirs.  It's not judgment.  I am just screaming from the rooftop because I have watched Lincoln be healed right before my very eyes! Of course, I want to share that with others.  I walk a fine line, I love Linky right where he is at but I don't accept him staying here. I don't accept autism for his outcome!  I expect him to lead a fulfilling life FREE of any barriers of autism.
It's simple, really. Find out what the Word of God says about healing and follow THAT. Don't bog yourself down with statistics and bad thinking.  Expect to see healing and results.  Have faith in a loving God and hold on to His Promises. He is faithful!!
So, please know. I have no judgment of others in their situation. Therapy and diets have their place. Just make sure they don't take the place of God and what He can do in your life. My passion is alive because I know what I have seen with my own eyes.  My 4 year old was diagnosed with autism almost  2 1/2 years ago,  He was severe in his functionality.  He was considered non-verbal. This was all while he was in 20 hours of therapy a week.  Today is a different story. This morning he woke up and yelled "Mommy will you please open the door."  He has told me he wants to go outside.  I have shown him pictures of himself and he says, "it's Linky."  He knows all our names, can pee in the potty and plays like a 4 year old boy.  He loves his brother and sister and has compassion when they are hurt or crying.  He is a hugger, kisser and lover of a little boy.  I shudder to think where he would be had I not held onto God's promises! That is why I share! It's worth it!


My Latest Running News....

So, I have been running on the treadmill at the gym.  Usually, I just run a mile and I  have been trying to get my time down.  Here is my best time so far; 8:38.  It still feels not "good enough."  However, I am pleased because not too long ago I was trying to crack the ten minute mile barrier.  :) I am aiming for 8 minutes.

I would like to add distance while keeping my speed but that is a challenge! Yesterday, I ran at the lake.  It was harder than I anticipated because I am used to treadmill running.  It was less boring outside though, I will admit. I tried the "5K Forever" app. Day 1 is as follows; walk for 5 minutes, run for 7 minutes, run slightly faster for 2 minutes then walk 1 minute (do this sequence 4 times), run 7 minutes, walk 5 minutes.  I did not go as fast as I would have liked.  But I think it will help me increase distance.  I plan on doing this one until I can get my time down even more.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

My Lens

There he sits, on the couch as I am visiting with loved ones that I haven’t seen in quite some time.  Beautiful, thick, red hair with big brown eyes like mine and a laugh that is insatiable. He is precious beyond any words I can muster. I am beaming on the inside because the last time they saw him, he hardly spoke! He just smiled a lot and repeated his ABC’s.  Now, he talks! I mean, REALLY talks. They witnessed him laughing and hugging and chasing the other kids in circles while calling their names. He is glowing, I am glowing and I couldn’t be more proud.

Then it starts. I walk up the hallway and hear them say, “No Lincoln, don’t do that, don’t lick the couch!”  It has started, oh boy, has it started! There he lies, 4 years old in his diaper and he is licking the couch. I think to myself, “Thank the Lord he is still wearing a diaper.”  I mean, he is normally naked because that’s his preference and one of the only ways I am managing potty training. I start smiling, watching him lick the couch and then in response to their looks of horror, I start to say, “Lincoln……..” Then something occurs to me. He is being a dog! The puppies were just licking the cool leather couch and he is mimicking them. I call his name, “Lincoln, what are you doing?”  He smiles at me with those big brown eyes, puppy eyes, of course. He says, “I puppy.” He continues licking, he is in full-on puppy mode. I am met with their looks of horror again.

I can see how they can’t possibly understand. Here lies my 4 year old, still in a diaper, licking the couches. This is the lens they see him through.  They still have pretty, clear glasses on from two typical children who respond accordingly when spoken to, are potty trained and would NEVER lick couches.  The puzzle pieces in their world are all the right colors and line up nicely unlike the puzzle pieces in my world that they are now a spectator to.

I am thrilled, thrilled that I didn’t make Lincoln stop for the sake of being “normal.” You see the lens I am looking through has a whole lot of colors and they change….frequently. I have learned to adapt. I know in that short moment, Lincoln initiated eye contact, responded to his name, expressed receptive language and imitated. For God’s sake, he imitated! I am so proud. That’s why I didn’t make him stop because I thought it was adorable and at one time he wouldn’t look at me, respond to his name, imitate or answer questions.

I get to look through a different lens that most parents don’t even realize exists. They don’t even realize all of the milestones their kids are hitting because they occur naturally for them. Me, I am aware. Aware and proud to be aware because now I see life so differently. I can appreciate all of the things that Lincoln does on a whole different level. Lincoln is different and because of that he has taught me to think differently.  I no longer respond in the typical manner that is acceptable to society. I look through those lenses and see my Lincoln, my beautiful Lincoln in his diaper licking the couch being a puppy. Lincoln marches to the beat of his own drum and I am so happy that I finally chose to slow down long enough to listen and see the situation for what it really was.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

I won't Let Go

This is a slideshow I made of Lincoln.  I heard this song the other day and immediately grabbed Lincoln and held him as tight as I could.  Tears streaming down my face, I promised him I will continue to believe he will be just fine, he will have a family of his own one day. I won't let go of believing he can accomplish anything!

Someone sent this to me last week, it is the second time actually that someone has sent it to me. It is encouraging to know that people see me that way.  I am thankful for that, because at my lowest, hopeless (we are never without hope) points, things like this make me rise back up and get back in the fight! My belief in THE ONE has made all the difference in the world. I expect miracles, wholeness and completion in my family! I believe it! I want to be a legacy to my family.  I claim this for me and my family!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Maddi turned TWO!

Maddi turned 2 yesterday! I can't believe it! She is PRECIOUS X 10! Boy, does she have some personality.
Got to take her shopping with some of her B-day $$. Of course, this was like a present for me also as shopping is probably my favorite hobby! Among her buys, my favorites are; black calve boots, leopard/pink high top sneakers and a Hello kitty fedora hat (picked personally by Maddi). She told me no every time she didn't want something or like it (she was emphatic at this sweet age of TWO!) and cracked me up the whole time! Thankful to have a shopping friend for life!

Breaking Bread (again)! I get it God!

So, we are doing a series at church titled, "I Was Here".  It's basically about being appointed people at an appointed time in an appointed place.  Great sermon!! Reminded me of some things I am suppose to be doing but I keep putting them off ( you know feeling inadequate and all that stuff).
Well remember this blog post!? It's kind of what God has been speaking to me all through out the year. Below are a couple of journal entries from this year on the same exact thing. All of this tied in with today's sermon. I thought, "okay, okay, I won't put it off any longer."  Then I slipped that thought to the back of my mind.

Then, we picked the kids up from class. Guess what they all learned about?? Yep, you guessed it!! Feeding the multitudes with the bread and fish and gathering up the fragments. At each one of their classes, they had a little project that I had to hold onto so they could bring home.  These will now be sitting on my desk at home as a reminder of what I need to be doing. Isn't God funny...and timely!